Saturday, June 11, 2016

I discover that one of my professors is cheating on his wife! (dreams)

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DREAM

I'm exiting class in a hurry. The halls always fill up to the point that we're all jammed up against each other. We're in my hometown, but we've all transported in a clump from LA. It's abnormally crowded for this place- my hometown, but it's very sparse for SoCal. The transplant reminds me of the times I decided to redecorate my aquariums as a kid. Sometimes I had enough allowance money to buy an extra decoration or a small upgrade in volume and I'd just move around the fish and the majority of the decor to another aquarium; all the furniture and fish were basically the same.

In this case, the people are the same, but the weather is very different. The light is dim, the air is a bluish gray, and it's cold and snowing outside. There are no leggings or skateboards here. The majority of us are dressed in thick jeans, solid boots and poofy jackets.

One of my professors is outside. I arrange a meeting with him in order to get some help with a couple of concepts later that day.

I leave campus and drive to Wal-Mart. I enter through the home and garden section and window shop, dithering about until I feel like going inside. I stamp the remaining snow off my boots, and when I look up, to my surprise, he's there too. He's just a little further down the entrance from me.

I chuckle. If I were in California, there's no way I'd be bumping into him. For one thing, there'd almost certainly be 7 people squished between us- even if he was only 5 feet away.

He puts his arm around the waist of an attractive blonde woman in her late 50's or early 60's.

Awww. 

Wait... I don't remember his wife looking like that...

I pretend I don't see them and turn my back, pretending to look at something on the shelves across from them.

Garden hoses... yes... they're amazing... amazing, amazing, amazing...

I look at garden hoses until, out of the corner of my eye, I can see her leave the store and go back out into the snowy weather. I look up, thinking he must be gone, but he's not. I pick up a bag of flower bulbs to mask my intentions and catch little glimpses of what he's purchasing.

I'm alarmed by what he's buying- especially in combination with the angry, determined expression on his face. He purchases rope, a hatchet, an auger (for drilling holes into the surface of frozen lakes) and some other things I don't stick around to take note of. I don't want to know and I don't want him thinking I know. I slip back out of the double doors as discreetly as possible.

I ponder what he's thinking of as I drive back home. I take a nap and eat a little to recharge.

Very soon, it's time to go back to class. I'm going to have to honor that meeting with him. I really don't feel like it. I have to take my family's motor home in a snow storm, and that's never fun. I get into the hulking vehicle and crawl at least 10 miles under the speed limit up and down hills- always wondering whether or not I'm going to make it- especially not on time.

I get back on campus and to my class. It's dark out and the lighting is yellow.

It's the same professor- standing right there, even though our meeting isn't until later. He's watching for me, and seems pleased that I've arrived on time, even if it's for someone else's class.

So am I!

I've decided that it's none of my business what he has going on in his personal life. I start going to my class and I spot his mistress. She looks extremely unhappy. She pulls him aside. They have a conversation in low, ominous tones.

I bet he's planning to kill her. I bet it's going to be her- not his wife.

INTERPRETATION

Buh hah! I can't imagine this real teacher cheating on his wife. I actually don't know if he's married or not at all, but I assume so based on his texting habits. I might have seen a ring too- I can't remember.

I don't know what this one is all about. In the dream, I'm taking an entire home with me (not all of it, but I could live in it, and I'm also risking losing it in the storm), and I'm layering my past home with my new one (the transplant).

I guess this might relate to how I have struggled, for most of my life, with deciding whether or not to fight back and when to fight back: assertion. Doormat or potentially engage in a power struggle? Tell someone about the hatchet or mind your own business? It seems as though it's one or the other when you aren't dealing with people you like and vice verse (I actually like this teacher in real life, but in the dream, for some reason I really didn't).

*End of the semester update: Hah, there ended up being some things about this instructor's style of relating information that didn't jive with the way I saw things. I might have sensed an agglomeration of issues approaching. Maybe the dream is showing me that I know I have a pattern of ignoring impending issues or not knowing what to do about them or how to prevent them since I'm blending my entire house and two main locations.

I even chose this instructor based off of ratemyprofessor.com and other websites because he had such glowing reviews. I don't even see why I bother trying to strategize based off of online reviews anymore. They're proving themselves to be highly untrustworthy whenever "soft skills" are involved. I have had so many good experiences with persons or institutions who have attracted a lot of flack.

I wonder if I could've done something sooner to ward off the damage to my grades that resulted from the inability to communicate with this person- to look around for more tutoring sessions at more locations much, much sooner, making a more concerted effort to befriend classmates, being more strict with my studying sessions, etc. I hope next semester goes more smoothly all the way to the end instead of just at the beginning.