Why isn't someone protecting her? (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I'm in a family restaurant. It's definitely a mid-level establishment. It's not fancy, but it's probably kind of expensive. Maybe a family of four would spend a little over $100 to eat there. 

It's got that dark ambiance lighting for night time dining, and a white and mauve-painted clapboard exterior. The paint is too thick, and it looks like it was allowed to drip here and there. It has its own parking lot, and a ramp for wheelchairs.

While I'm here to eat with my family, I can't help but notice a beautiful girl in a pink satin dress. She looks incredibly vulnerable and bewildered. I don't think she's quite aware of where she is or what's going on. But I recognize her--she's rather famous for something on screen. And she's wealthy. But her family has brought her wealth with her into the busy restaurant where anyone could take it. I'm under the impression that they want to show it off. Her family stacks her wealth (her wealth looks like 20lb disc weights that you would put onto a gym barbell) all around the table as they eat their meal. 

When they're done with their meal, her family carries her wealth--who knows where. I see some of them taking it to the trunk of their car. I see some of them just carrying it around deeper into the restaurant. I don't think there's any way this girl can keep track of what's going where. There's some built in protection for her, because we're in public and it's her family. Your family generally looks out for you, but that's not a guaranteed relationship. 

I'm really worried about what's going to happen to her. She's strong enough to make a bunch of money and do things people appreciate, but too vulnerable to keep any of it. How can someone like that prepare for old age? I really wish someone would protect her. 

INTERPRETATION

I have been going through a tremendous amount of stress for the past few weeks, and I've been experiencing a return of some of my bipolar schizoaffective symptoms because of it. 

I'm very frightened of hallucinating. I used to be frightened because I actually believed the aggressive hallucinations were real. But now that I can spot them pretty easily for what they are, I'm more scared of how vulnerable I am when I'm in the middle of psychosis, or experiencing either mania or depression. It's very, very easy for me to be taken advantage of in all kinds of ways when I'm ill: financially, sexually, socially--any way you can think of. It's partly why I'd be concerned about moving back to a large city again. There are more desperate, predatory people in a big city, and if you're not on your toes and thinking very carefully at all times, you can get into trouble really fast. 

So the pace of life is going really fast for me right now, even though I'm in a small city, and I'm concerned about what could happen. I have to take extra precautions to take care of myself right now--to sleep well, to eat healthily, to take walks, to take breaks, to be sociable, to plan out what I need to do ahead of time so I don't rush. Stuff like that. 

I become an underwater slave. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

Somehow, I wind up in an enormous swimming pool that's as deep as a performing arts center is tall. I'm not 100% certain, but I think I ended up in this pool because I met this random guy on the street, kinda started to like him a little, and he told me to come here. Now he and I and hundreds of other people are enslaved. 

I have to dive to the bottom of this pool either with weights, or to bring up weights depending on the assignment. And if anyone tries to escape, a diver launches into the air with a sledge hammer, and they will spin around and around until they come straight down on that person no matter where they go (aside from back underwater, doing what they're supposed to be doing).

Then I kind of half-way wake up and test one of these spinning divers underwater. She swings her sledge hammer at me, but she can't swing it fast enough to really hurt me. I can block it easily. She doesn't represent a threat underwater. I'm surprised at how effortlessly I can hold my breath. 

INTERPRETATION

The Olympics have been going on, and this dream definitely seems influenced by them. But I think this dream is kind of how I'll often meet someone I sort of like, and I'll often start to feel like I'm dragged into being their therapist. That's what the imagery of swimming down into the depths is to me. But having to hold my breath and kick with weights--that's work! I'm doing work when I do this, and I'm trapped in the pool. 

Someone I was on the fence about told me that I was their therapist. And it felt a little flattering, because I have that training, but have never used it outside of personal relationships and perhaps tangentially to help my coworkers. But when this person said it, it felt icky at the same time, because the relationship between a therapist and a client is completely artificial. It goes one way. You never get to truly know your therapist. They get paid to listen to you. But I'm not getting paid. So what do I get out of a relationship like that? 

I've had other people call me their therapist before, and that didn't bother me, because the relationship felt balanced in terms of give and take. But lately, I kind of feel like I'm being leaned upon too heavily for emotional support, and it feels a little like being in this dream.