Monday, March 18, 2024

Excited about experimenting and sharing what I love. (dream)

Image by Midjourney


Happy St. Patrick's Day (or, more likely for you, a day or so after St. Patrick's Day)!

I wish I'd planned a little better for this holiday! I would have found a good recipe online and gone to the store and bought some corned beef and cabbage. Instead, I just played around with some St. Patrick's Day prompts on Midjourney. 


DREAM

I go into an old, independently-owned music shop. One of my favorite people in the world is there. He shows me something he's been working on: a stringed instrument that has little purple "socks" over the strings. He plays it for me. He pulls the socks down at different times, and the instrument makes different noises. I'm surprised! That's pretty cool. He is very original. 

I look around a little more and something really catches my eye: paintings done with a red-orange paint that almost seems to glow on the page. I would really like to experiment with that color, that texture, that material myself. I make a mental note to look for it at the crafts store next time I'm there.

But I have to leave because I have a presentation to do. I'm going to offer a presentation in front of a large group of people about one of my favorite characters: Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager. I'm a little embarrassed, because I'm not sure who else will like this character, but I'm also feeling great about being able to share what I know just because I'm passionate on the topic. And that turns my nervousness into excitement and some degree of confidence. I go into the large, futuristic, Cathedral-like room and make my way to the front with my notes.


INTERPRETATION

I think that ever since I left California, I get these occasional urges to experiment with artistic materials I find really beautiful or interesting. I think I used to be much more excited about the concepts in my artwork than playing with physical, sensory materials. Now, especially with the advent of AI art, I think it's more important that it feels good to make your art instead of making it look incredible. 

The person in the music shop is one of my favorite people in real life too. It's very uncommon for me to meet someone and almost instantly have this great, amazing feeling about them, but I think I felt that way about him within 30 minutes of being in his presence. And I haven't felt conflicted about adoring him in the many years I've known him now--also very unusual for me. 

I also think I'm getting a little less embarrassed about sharing the work I do, which is a great feeling. But in real life, it's more like taking little baby steps rather than confidently striding down a great hall with notes in hand. 

Friday, March 15, 2024

Dream Diary giveaway this weekend! March 16-17 PT. (news)

Hey, everybody! 

I goofed! I did not download my own books for Kindle when I was doing free Kindle giveaways. So I need to run giveaways to pick them up now.

The first and second dream diary collections are going to be free to download this Saturday and Sunday (March 16-17) from midnight to midnight, Pacific Time. 

These two books are just collections of blog posts like this one, so if you like reading my dream blog posts, you might like these "archived" posts!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZXNMMMQ

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Surprise! My first audiobook is now available! (news)

After over a month of work, I am excited to present to you: Satyr Plays -- the audiobook!

This audiobook is 3.5 hours long, narrated by me, and is currently available on Amazon's Audible app/website for $14.95 USD (Audible sets the price).

I've been told that hearing me read adds something to my writing, so even if the book doesn't appeal to you, you can listen to the audiobook sample to see if a performance might interest you more than words on a page.

Just a warning: I thought I was done with tragedy until I played back my British accent. You've got to cut me a break on that--it's either me doing a really strange RP/Scouse/American accent mix, or nobody. 



https://www.audible.com/pd/B0CXZC3SFK/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-390413&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_390413_rh_us


Saturday, March 9, 2024

The glittering ballerina, floating in space. (dream)


Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I enter a large university, and see a friend from a job I had a long, long time ago at the front desk. My tongue swells to the point that I'm constantly chewing the sides of it. I try to stop, but I can't. 

My friend is overflowing with excitement and enthusiasm, and she convinces me to take ballet, because I've always wanted to. She says I won't live forever. 

She drives me to class in an open jeep as the building is falling apart around us in huge, concrete chunks. The sky is space, and I see a large projection of a glittering, pink ballerina floating in front of me. 

I really get the sense that life is short, and I am glad I'm living it to the fullest while I can.

INTERPRETATION

There's a part of this dream that's straight-forward, and a part that I'm not so sure about. 

I've wanted to take adult ballet classes for many years now, but I'm intimidated because of my weight and age. After this dream, I'm starting to wonder if I'm really going to regret not doing it!

I think the crumbling building symbolizes how we're coming a little bit closer to death every day.

But the swollen tongue I kept chewing on is strange. I woke up and did not have a problem with my tongue. Once we rule out a literal, physical problem intruding on the dream, I think the interpretation that leaps to mind first is that words are being held back. But in the dream, I didn't feel an urgency about saying anything. 

Maybe the tongue is more a symbol of a health scare, and doing what you can in spite of failing health. That fits in better with the themes of life being short, and the crumbling building. 

For me, one of the strange things about getting older and realizing that some of my parts are starting to wear down is the increased sense of peace and gratitude I feel, generally-speaking. Maybe it's because I've learned to manage my mind and body better with time. Maybe it's because I have the comfort of stable relationships I can rely on. Maybe it's because I have enough statistical information to realize things usually work out fine. Or maybe it's because I realize things are coming to a close, and there were, and will always be, a lot of very simple, ordinary, nice things about the experience of living to focus on. Maybe it's all of those things. But in the dream, I felt that same kind of peace and excitement--amplified, in spite of the building collapsing.

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Being intensely thankful for grace. (dream)

Image by Midjourney


DREAM

I am a new hire at a fast food restaurant. 

Someone who hurt me very badly who I'd grown up with is my boss. 

He has me do several tasks, and even though we are both polite to each other, I am wildly uncomfortable being around him. 

Then I get in a car with my mother, and she starts driving erratically. She runs over a little toddler who had exited the family van and was standing in the turn lane. I scream, horrified. 

We look around town, and I wonder if I would live here. 

Then we park, and I realize she has dementia. 

The mother of the girl we ran over followed us. She comes up to my window. I'm terrified. In an effort to explain ourselves, I say, "She has dementia!" To my surprise and relief, the woman seems to understand and forgive us. She walks away. 

I don't know what to do about my mom's dementia, but I know she can't keep driving.


INTERPRETATION

I am doing a lot of guided lovingkindness meditation along to videos on YouTube. Lovingkindness meditation is a type of Buddhist meditation in which you try to expand your circle of compassion and love to encircle all beings. 

All. That's a very tall order for me, and I think I'm not alone in that. But recently, I will think about people who have hurt me very badly in the past, and I will either put them out of my mind for a while during meditation, or if I feel up to it, I will try to include them in my circle of compassion. 

It's hard for me to accept the fact that people do vile things, while wishing them well at the same time. I asked ChatGPT about this, and it gave a stellar answer. Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted that answer. I thought I could always get the same response again, so I didn't copy it elsewhere, but it's different now. Oh well. 

What I really took away from the chatbot's answer was that lovingkindness meditation implies that love has transformative powers--even if it's just love cultivated in your own heart. Eventually, that love you carry with you shows up in the wider world. And it can do you good to have faith that people can change. The answer also encouraged moving beyond the shallowness of judgements warped with one's own pain to trying to view hurtful actions as a result of suffering in a vast, interconnected system of life. 

So I think that's why I'm dreaming about someone who hurt me. I'm trying to have more compassion. But I still don't know exactly how to handle feelings of resentment that keep cropping up now and then. 

I am, however, incredibly thankful for grace for my own messes, as symbolized by the mother who forgave us for running over her child. 

And I am trying to figure out how to be wise when dealing with people--harmful people, too. 

I'm also scared of dementia. I know so many people's parents who have dementia at this point. It's always sad. 

Tuesday, February 6, 2024

An area in which I would like to improve. (dream)

Image by Midjourney


DREAM

I am interpreting the results of computer programs for a more general audience. This is my job. And I start off being extremely diplomatic. I massage my answers into a yes or no format, which is the level of simplicity my audience wants, and I give programmers the benefit of the doubt with regard to their intentions for the program. 

But something within me snaps, and I become determined to give the full-bodied, complex, nuanced answer, even if my audience won't follow as easily. I voice my doubts about the programmers' intentions for the programs too.


INTERPRETATION

I think I had this dream because the job I want to work towards requires communicating very technical information clearly and concisely to a general audience. That is something I need to improve at if I want to be good at this career. 

What I've tended to do with technical information in the past is to say way too much that doesn't get to the point of why the person I'm talking to needs the information. I think I do this when I get nervous, or  haven't practiced enough, and also when I don't understand my topic well enough. 

I'm thankful for this dream for trying to put me on the right track! Maybe I can ask ChatGPT to help me rehearse.

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Living a High Vibration Life, by ChatGPT (rants)


Anahola Beach, Kauai by Janine Sprout, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons


I asked ChatGPT how to live a high vibration life, and its answer was too good not to share!


Living life at a high vibration generally means maintaining a positive and fulfilling life, characterized by optimism, gratitude, and a sense of purpose. Here are some steps you can take:


1. **Mindfulness and Meditation:** 

Regular practice of mindfulness and meditation can help you maintain a peaceful and positive state of mind. This involves being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.


2. **Gratitude:** 

Cultivating gratitude can significantly increase your life satisfaction. Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you regularly write down things you're thankful for.


3. **Healthy Lifestyle:** 

A balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are crucial for physical and mental well-being. This also includes avoiding excessive alcohol and refraining from substance abuse.


4. **Positive Relationships:** 

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Positive social interactions can greatly contribute to a high vibrational living.


5. **Personal Growth:** 

Engage in activities that promote personal growth, such as reading, learning new skills, or pursuing hobbies and interests that inspire you.


6. **Acts of Kindness:** 

Doing good for others without expecting anything in return can raise your spirits and contribute to a sense of community and connectedness.


7. **Connect with Nature:** 

Spending time in nature can be incredibly grounding and healing. It helps in reducing stress and boosting mood.


8. **Spiritual Practices:** 

If you're inclined, engaging in spiritual practices that resonate with you can provide a sense of peace and purpose.


9. **Positive Affirmations:** 

Using positive affirmations can help shift your mindset to a more optimistic and positive outlook.


10. **Limit Negative Influences:** 

Be mindful of the media you consume and the conversations you engage in. Limit exposure to negativity where possible.


Remember, it's a personal journey, and what works for one person might not work for another. It's important to find practices that resonate with you and fit into your life naturally.