Image by Midjourney
A couple nights ago, I dreamed that a woman is telling me my horoscope. And according to that horoscope, I'm destined for creative fulfilment, a soaring artistic career, huge audiences, and financial freedom.
As I listen, I watch myself going to school and being a small success and enjoying my time there. Then the horoscope ends. I graduate. And now I'm in a tiny micro apartment doing the dishes in a sink with a counter with small, black and white tiles. I say to myself, "I'm thankful for my life here in Seoul, Korea." Then I remember that this is one of the suicide capitals of the world. Will I find out why? A lot of people don't live lives as happy as mine here. Could this be my attitude? My way of looking at the world? Or am I simply fresh and naive?
I go to the office. I hate my new job. I hate my bosses. I've only been working here for two days, but I start to think of quitting. "Why did I quit my last job?" I liked it there! I decide to quit this job to try to go back to my old one.
And then last night, I dreamed that I was watching this scruffy boy in ragged, baggy clothes. He has shaggy, blonde hair. It feels to him like he's being made fun of as he sits on a couch across from a trio of three well-groomed black girls, but that doesn't quite describe what's going on. Those women are genuinely disturbed about his being there. There are murders that have been happening, and they are really, really creeped out by this boy. They think they have evidence that he's involved. He might even be the murderer himself. But he doesn't take any of this seriously, because he can fly. What does he care about anyone else's concerns when he can fly whenever he wants.
I experience his point of view as he flies through the cold, dark winter at night in the city. He flies onto the highway. He stops on the ground, but it's not a problem for him to start up again any time he wants.
I don't know what to think about the first dream. It felt like something really interesting was being revealed to me. I had a partner. I did okay with the lower levels of communication, but I felt how confusing it was to try to communicate with the woman telepathically, only picking up on impressions and intuitions she had. They were hard to separate from my own impressions and intuitions. I couldn't tell where she and I were separate and I had a hard time discerning what was true or not.
With the second dream, I had fallen asleep to a video of my horoscope. I always feel like the best astrologers are really good at blowing smoke up your ass. The horoscope was talking about how I'm going to have all this great stuff happen to me, but the reality is, my life is usually lame. It's certainly not the fulfillment of some grandiose fantasy about fame and fortune.
It's the second part of that dream that really interests me. In the dream, I left a job I liked for a job I didn't like. I feel like I'm not in a secure place with my job right now. It doesn't feel like a stable, long-term option. But I think I'm really going to miss it when my time is up for the experience. Maybe I'll wonder why I ever left.
And then the third dream about flying was a mixed bag. It was tons of fun feeling what it was like to fly, but it was very uncomfortable feeling as though I was being suspected of murder. But I was living a happy life doing stuff I loved, so it just didn't matter how people viewed me, or even what legal or societal trouble I might be in. This carefree feeling is what it's like for me in real life sometimes. I just love my life writing things. There have been times when that was all I had. Sometimes, it's enough. It can carry me through a lot.
I was watching a very woo woo podcast on Mayim Bialik's YouTube channel, and her partner, Jonathan, said that he had a dream about flying last night. I thought it was an interesting coincidence since I don't often dream about flying. So I thought I'd take the time to document my dreams today.
