Going dip net fishing in the back yard. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

There's a very artistically-tasteful circus being run on a huge, modern stage by a single mom. Her sons assist (with slightly negative, slightly surly attitudes). But what the circus does is showcase the most beautiful woman in the world. 

The most beautiful woman is very fit, but not overly muscular. She poses on stage in a handstand, demonstrating her strength. She reminds me of Penelope Cruz in terms of the way she looks. 

The single mother is capable of doing exactly the same handstand. And she is just as beautiful and has the same level of fitness. Realistically, she could just as easily be showcased as the most beautiful woman in the world, but she's not. And she's angry and jealous about that while also understanding that it's the other woman that pulls in a crowd and puts dinner on all their tables. So she holds it all in. 

She devises a plan to blow off some steam. She thinks about creating a dip net fishing stream in the back yard. As she wrestles with various ideas, they come to pass. She imagines a deep stream in the yard space between the houses where the rain drips off the roof. She imagines a body of water so large that it's as tall as the ceilings, and we can't see out the windows anymore except to see fish swimming by. She buys a dip net that has a plastic cover over the top--to really seal in those fish. 

A girl who competed on a modeling TV show comes in through the window in hip waders. I wonder if I should buy hip waders when I wake up. The model listens to the jealous mom blow off some steam then says, "I'm going to go now, so I don't stink up the house!" 

I marvel at this sentence, because she dragged a bunch of mud in the house. Does the mud stink? She just seemed to want to leave.

INTERPRETATION

There have been times in my life when I've thought, "Why not me? Why didn't I get selected? Why don't I get a chance to test out what I can really do? Why am I not going far when they are?" This is like the jealousy and anger of the woman who doesn't get to perform on stage in the circus. And I think I compensate for this by... just cruising along, working on projects to amuse and distract myself (the creation of the dip net fishing in the yard). I think I can sense that other people are a little off-put by the negative energy of this kind of jealous mindset (the girl, who is a peer... a model... doesn't want to listen and leaves).

I have more than one opportunity in my real life that brings up these types of feelings right now. I could get my chance to perform and do just as well as the next person, or I could drop the ball. I'm not as confident about my skills in comparison to others in real life. There's often a very good reason why I'm not picked in reality.