Being intensely thankful for grace. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I am a new hire at a fast food restaurant. 

Someone who hurt me very badly who I'd grown up with is my boss. 

He has me do several tasks, and even though we are both polite to each other, I am wildly uncomfortable being around him. 

Then I get in a car with my mother, and she starts driving erratically. She runs over a little toddler who had exited the family van and was standing in the turn lane. I scream, horrified. 

We look around town, and I wonder if I would live here. 

Then we park, and I realize she has dementia. 

The mother of the girl we ran over followed us. She comes up to my window. I'm terrified. In an effort to explain ourselves, I say, "She has dementia!" To my surprise and relief, the woman seems to understand and forgive us. She walks away. 

I don't know what to do about my mom's dementia, but I know she can't keep driving.

INTERPRETATION

I am doing a lot of guided lovingkindness meditation along to videos on YouTube. Lovingkindness meditation is a type of Buddhist meditation in which you try to expand your circle of compassion and love to encircle all beings. 

All. That's a very tall order for me, and I think I'm not alone in that. But recently, I will think about people who have hurt me very badly in the past, and I will either put them out of my mind for a while during meditation, or if I feel up to it, I will try to include them in my circle of compassion. 

It's hard for me to accept the fact that people do vile things, while wishing them well at the same time. I asked ChatGPT about this, and it gave a stellar answer. Unfortunately, I accidentally deleted that answer. I thought I could always get the same response again, so I didn't copy it elsewhere, but it's different now. Oh well. 

What I really took away from the chatbot's answer was that lovingkindness meditation implies that love has transformative powers--even if it's just love cultivated in your own heart. Eventually, that love you carry with you shows up in the wider world. And it can do you good to have faith that people can change. The answer also encouraged moving beyond the shallowness of judgements warped with one's own pain to trying to view hurtful actions as a result of suffering in a vast, interconnected system of life. 

So I think that's why I'm dreaming about someone who hurt me. I'm trying to have more compassion. But I still don't know exactly how to handle feelings of resentment that keep cropping up now and then. 

I am, however, incredibly thankful for grace for my own messes, as symbolized by the mother who forgave us for running over her child. 

And I am trying to figure out how to be wise when dealing with people--harmful people, too. 

I'm also scared of dementia. I know so many people's parents who have dementia at this point. It's always sad. 

An area in which I would like to improve. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I am interpreting the results of computer programs for a more general audience. This is my job. And I start off being extremely diplomatic. I massage my answers into a yes or no format, which is the level of simplicity my audience wants, and I give programmers the benefit of the doubt with regard to their intentions for the program. 

But something within me snaps, and I become determined to give the full-bodied, complex, nuanced answer, even if my audience won't follow as easily. I voice my doubts about the programmers' intentions for the programs too.

INTERPRETATION

I think I had this dream because the job I want to work towards requires communicating very technical information clearly and concisely to a general audience. That is something I need to improve at if I want to be good at this career. 

What I've tended to do with technical information in the past is to say way too much that doesn't get to the point of why the person I'm talking to needs the information. I think I do this when I get nervous, or  haven't practiced enough, and also when I don't understand my topic well enough. 

I'm thankful for this dream for trying to put me on the right track! Maybe I can ask ChatGPT to help me rehearse.

Living a High Vibration Life, by ChatGPT (rants)

Anahola Beach, Kauai by Janine Sprout, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

I asked ChatGPT how to live a high vibration life, and its answer was too good not to share!

Living life at a high vibration generally means maintaining a positive and fulfilling life, characterized by optimism, gratitude, and a sense of purpose. Here are some steps you can take:

1. **Mindfulness and Meditation:** 

Regular practice of mindfulness and meditation can help you maintain a peaceful and positive state of mind. This involves being present in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

2. **Gratitude:** 

Cultivating gratitude can significantly increase your life satisfaction. Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you regularly write down things you're thankful for.

3. **Healthy Lifestyle:** 

A balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are crucial for physical and mental well-being. This also includes avoiding excessive alcohol and refraining from substance abuse.

4. **Positive Relationships:** 

Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Positive social interactions can greatly contribute to a high vibrational living.

5. **Personal Growth:** 

Engage in activities that promote personal growth, such as reading, learning new skills, or pursuing hobbies and interests that inspire you.

6. **Acts of Kindness:** 

Doing good for others without expecting anything in return can raise your spirits and contribute to a sense of community and connectedness.

7. **Connect with Nature:** 

Spending time in nature can be incredibly grounding and healing. It helps in reducing stress and boosting mood.

8. **Spiritual Practices:** 

If you're inclined, engaging in spiritual practices that resonate with you can provide a sense of peace and purpose.

9. **Positive Affirmations:** 

Using positive affirmations can help shift your mindset to a more optimistic and positive outlook.

10. **Limit Negative Influences:** 

Be mindful of the media you consume and the conversations you engage in. Limit exposure to negativity where possible.

Remember, it's a personal journey, and what works for one person might not work for another. It's important to find practices that resonate with you and fit into your life naturally.

Going to Vegas to sing in a choir at a fairy casino. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I'm at my step grandparents' house, and me, and the whole extended family are all packed to go on a trip to Vegas together. I realize I might have time to put on my makeup when some people start dilly dallying. I've just been running around with copper eyeshadow for a long time. It makes me look washed out, and like I've been crying.

Now, I take some black eyeliner out of my bag and start applying it. I take out a small liner brush, wet it with some water, and swirl it in the black powder. I apply the powder to my eyes. Unfortunately, the pigment is a sickly, clumpy gray. I try again. Nothing. I try a marker liner. That works a little better, but not much. 

We hit the road and make it to our performance venue in Vegas. We're going to be singing in a choir. We're exploring some of the rooms in the building. It's a casino, basically. 

I overhear from some fairies flying around the giant elevator that the last person to add to a clothes pile is the one that has to be gotten rid of in order to get rid of the unsightly pile. I add my nail polish to the clothes pile, hoping it will be very hard to notice the change. I don't want to be targeted for whatever they plan to do to this person, but if they're going to target someone in my family, I'd prefer it was me. 

I get off on a floor, and start walking outside in the winter. I see one of our dogs. He's frozen solid. Another of our dogs runs around. I bring the frozen dog back inside while calling the other dog, hoping he'll come--and he does.

INTERPRETATION

I've been thinking about my step grandparents a lot. They're really amazing people, and they make me feel like I'm a part of their family. I like them very much. The only biological grandmother I ever met was violent at many, many points in her life, and very unpleasant in general, so it's really nice to have more kind, considerate people in my life. 

I've only seen my step grandparents during special occasions like the holidays, and all the ladies in the family wear makeup, and it's an important ritual to them (or so I'm told). I haven't worn makeup in a very long time, so I guess I'm a little insecure about my skills at this point. 

And my indoor cat escaped recently, and I had to get him back. He ran straight up a tree. That's kind of like chasing after dogs. 

All in all, a pretty random dream. I even dreamed about dirty laundry in this one.

Grocery store bags that are poisoning everyone. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

I dreamed about my Amazon wishlist again. I guess that's not too surprising since I often surf Amazon at night on my phone up until the second I can no longer keep my eyes open. 

In this dream, I was watching people bag groceries at a self checkout. They were all using plastic bags. A voice over talked about about how plastic bags are made with chlorine gas, and they're slowly poisoning everyone who's using them. It's seeping through cardboard and saran wrap and people's clothes are picking up the poison, and it's all perfectly legal. No one intends to change this any time soon.

In real life, I've spent the last couple of days debating whether or not to buy one or another pack of 6-18 reusable nylon bags. In my city, there's no ordinance against plastic bags, but some individual stores will charge you for plastic bags. Reusing nylon bags also just seems a lot nicer for the environment. 

Plus, I will get to shop and spend money if I buy these nylon bags! So I really want to do it. (Let's just forget about the fact that I have at least five reusable totes already.)

Voting for my city's next "Representative for the Arts." (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I'm traveling in a car with two middle aged men who want to run for my city council's "Representative for the Arts." One of them is a film and theater director from California. I see snippets of his plays and films, and those are quite good. Another one of them is some other out of towner. I'm not really sure exactly what he does. Maybe something like plein air painting. I only see little snippets. And then I find out that my old creative writing teacher is also running. 

She's clearly not marketing herself as well as the other two, so I wonder if she really wants the position. I didn't take this election seriously until I saw her name, so I start looking into it. Apparently, it's some city-appointed guide for all the city's arts for a year. They help put on arts events. I imagine her visual art, and her writing, and the plays she would put on, and it sounds really, really interesting. I wonder if it would have an impact! I'm excited for the possibilities and plan to vote for her.

Then, I see Bruce Wayne having lunch with the Joker. Then Bruce Wayne turns into a sad Joker, and drops cubic zirconiums onto the ground before leaving early. Harley Quinn scrambles to pick them up. I pick up some of the ones at my feet, and they don't even look like cubic zirconium. They look like plastic.

INTERPRETATION

I added some professors' self-published books to my Amazon wishlist as I was taking their classes, and I scrolled past them recently. I guess I really want my creative writing teacher to "win" with her creative work--to have an impact. I didn't think her book was marketed as well as the other teacher's, but I felt for her. I wanted people to buy from her--to "vote" for her.

I feel as though the Batman part of the dream kind of relates to how my surroundings are a mess. Stuff is just... everywhere, and their disorganization just makes them feel like junk.

The lively bed of sea urchins in the psychologist's office. (dream)

Image by Midjourney

DREAM

I'm living in a mansion, and I run down the stairs because I want to check out a book at the library. I keep running in my mansion, and I eventually arrive at an elementary school. I accidentally walk into a large locker room which is empty. 

I see a little boy and a black kitten showering together, and I hear someone say something along the lines of, "Watch out for that little boy. He's attacked so many kittens, he's forgotten them. So when people ask if he's seen the missing cat, he can convincingly say he doesn't remember."

The little boy and kitten disappear, and the locker room is empty. 

A series of little girls aged 5 and under then come up to me and start biting my arm. I shove them off of me. Finally, an older girl of about seven comes up to me and bites me really hard--it's painful. So I grab her by her jacket and the seat of her pants, and I throw her from off the side of the school roof. She hits a table really hard, and I know I'm in trouble. 

I run back to my mansion, but I end up in the school psychologist's office. There's a bed of sea urchins all over a cloth canvas that stretches across the office. 

The counselor gives me a tangerine crayon and a coloring book picture of a lion to fill in. She starts coloring it, but I would do it differently than she is. So I get up to get another crayon. I cross the cloth full of sea urchins, although they stick to my clothes, and wrap around a pen I grabbed along with my new crayon. I'm talking to the counselor as I do all this.

She frowns. "Can you please stop talking?"

I'm really offended that she's asked me to stop talking, but I've been annoyed by someone talking too much too, so I stop. But I just think she's a bad counselor. 

INTERPRETATION

I'm in an anxious kind of mood lately, so I think these are just little fears that I have all thrown together. I'm scared of being in charge of abusive people who need disciplining and injured beings who need extra special care afterwards (like the little boy with the kittens), because I am not good at disciplining people who are misbehaving--even if they're only children. It's only too easy to get in trouble by being insensitive with the discipline (like with the little girl I threw off the side of the school building)!

I also fear being considered annoying (I'm talking too much in the dream), which stems from traumatic childhood experiences like this one: when I was about six, I thought I had a best friend, but at the end of the year, after an entire year of believing this little girl loved me as much as I loved her, she tattled on me because I said something she didn't like to a teacher I wanted to like and impress. I knew that someone who loved me like I loved her would never do that, because I never would have done that to her. So it was a betrayal that should have taught me that a lot of people are only friends out of convenience: you share the same time and place, but not the same feelings of love and loyalty for each other. It also should have taught me that people can be on the fence about a relationship, and it only takes a very little thing to tip the scales one way or another. I've had to relearn these lessons as the years have gone by, even though I've been on the other side myself.