DREAM
I'm at a Victorian/Boho styled wedding, but it's also a murder mystery film set.
The bride is very much so into the new age. She talks about casting spells and horoscopes as she runs around her wooden mansion in the woods--frantic.
She's preoccupied with getting the guests their appetizers, and organizing the wedding, and the cinematographers, and the actors. I, however, am preoccupied with a guest: Nicholas Cage. To my surprise, Nicholas doesn't seem to mind hanging out with me. After a while, it's pretty clear that we have a little bit of a connection going on. We exchange some kisses--serious, romantic ones. We become each other's "default people" when we walk into a room.
But then, my crush from when I was sixteen arrives to the wedding party, and woah boy, I am instantly smitten with him. I yearn for him. I ache for him. He's the only thing I can focus on. In the end, I approach him with a romantic proposition and he accepts. Mega star Nicholas Cage was not enough to lure me away from the simple purity of first love. I knew I was probably the thousandth option a big movie star like him had, and although I was surprised that he had some affection for me, I knew it wasn't that intense, burning, all-consuming, insane love from high school, and could never be.
INTERPRETATION
I think it's really funny that I had this dream while Nicholas Cage has the movie Dream Scenario out in theaters. I haven't seen it myself, but the premise of the movie is funny. Nicholas Cage plays a man who keeps appearing in everyone's dreams, and the people get mad at him when the dreams turn into nightmares. I keep seeing the ads for it online, so maybe that's why I had this dream. Maybe I'll go see that film this week!
I've been having dreams about yearnings from my youth lately though. It's painful, but it has that sweet feeling of nostalgia a lot of the time.
I'm thinking about who I would go for in real life, and... I'm not entirely sure! I think I would go for Nicholas Cage partly because he was there first. Partly because I get this weird sense that we have more similar personalities than me and my crush did. That's less mysterious, but more... comfortable? Also, I was already in a relationship of sorts with him, and I didn't have to pursue him. It was a mutual pursuit. There's less risk there.
But the purity of my love for my old crush was so intense. It's hard to imagine feeling that way about someone again. That naive openness to giving and receiving love, once folded or crushed, is very hard to get back to the way it was. I can't decide if it's better that way or not.
